Fostering

As soon as I walked in I felt safe and cared for: that I mattered. They’d got my room ready for me so I could take time out if I needed to. They knew how important this was for me. They were so patient and understanding, with the empathy I needed.

It didn’t take me long to settle in. It wasn’t long before I felt confident enough to talk openly to my new foster family and start having fun with them. We always have dinner together where we talk loads and plan our weekends and trips away, we are always laughing, it’s a lovely atmosphere.

Since I’ve been living with them I’ve been lucky enough to be part of family holidays and have been to places I only thought I could dream of – I’m making some really great memories.

​James and I never thought we'd be able to foster or adopt. Being a same sex couple, we just assumed we'd be ruled out because of this, plus we both work – I work full time, and James part time.

You’ve got to be there for the children as they have good days, but as you'd expect they have really bad days too, but you learn to deal with these as you go along.  I'd say that you definitely need a thick skin to be a foster carer!

There's always help if we need it from Northamptonshire County Council.  We have a good network of other foster carers as sometimes you just need to chat with someone who has been through what you’re going through.

As remand foster carers, we look after young people who are going through the court system. There are a number of reasons why they might not be able to live with their families.

It is the young people themselves that make fostering so rewarding and the relationships you build with them. You learn to read the individual and when to challenge them and when to step back.

One lad we fostered is now grown up with four children of his own and he says he wants to be the type of father my partner is, which is lovely to hear. Seeing how far some of the lads have come is really rewarding and working with them really puts a smile on my face.

Some of the young people have stayed with us for many years and others for just a few nights. Two years ago when our last young person moved on to independent living, we were asked to foster a number of younger children. They have stayed with us and one is now a teenager with the other one not far behind.

Family life for us as foster carers for young people is chaotic, challenging and rewarding on a daily basis. It’s never boring as there’s always something new to learn.

I have great fun taking them windsurfing, walking up mountains, off-road mountain biking and camping. Teaching them how to cook and prepare meals themselves is always enlightening!

To be a foster carer you need to be able to accept the challenging times along with the rewards, but if you think you can improve the life chances of a young person I would encourage you to give it some thought.

​I grew up with fostering around me, one of my close friends’ parents fostered so it was always a big part of my life. I knew it was something I would eventually end up doing as I’m passionate about giving children a brighter future – the future they deserve.

Yes there are challenges every day, but Phil and I have built up the skills to deal with these, we couldn’t have done this without the support and training from Northamptonshire County Council, and the fostering community is just brilliant.

It sounds silly, but seeing children being allowed to be children and helping them deal with different situations and become confident individuals is the most rewarding job you could ever do!"

"My professional background is working with young people with substance misuse issues and I ended up as a project worker with troubled teenagers. I was promoted to a managerial position, which lead to me becoming somewhat detached from why I originally got involved with young people, so I decided the time was right to look into fostering.

"My two boys left home 2 years ago, so it was the ideal time for me to apply. My first foster placement was an emergency placement, but he ended up staying with me for five weeks. I’m getting my next placement in 2 weeks, a 14 year-old on remand who needs foster care. I’m really looking forward to it."

We’re currently foster carers for two baby girls, one is nine months old and the other is 12 months so we’ve really got our hands full! But we love it and wouldn’t change anything for the world.

Every day as a foster carer is so different, what works one day probably won’t work the next day so you have to be patient, flexible and fully committed, and a good support network is essential.

We couldn’t have started the process if everyone in the family wasn’t committed, and thankfully everyone agreed that it was something we should do. We’ve never looked back since we were approved as foster carers and have given 12 children a loving home over the past few years.

​​I have been a Family Link carer for Northamptonshire County Council’s Family Link for 20 years. I’m currently looking after three different children on a rotational basis. This includes overnight and day care.  However long the stay, I tailor it to them and make sure it will be a good break for them.

When I tell people what I do, many say it’s something they would consider doing in the future.  I say to them don’t put it off, there are children who need you! You can make it work for you and your family, it doesn’t have to take over your life.

It’s such a positive thing and you’re giving a child the opportunity to learn and grow as well as giving a family some much needed time for them.